


A Quiet Despair

by beatthe0dds



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-09
Updated: 2012-10-09
Packaged: 2017-11-15 23:43:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/533075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beatthe0dds/pseuds/beatthe0dds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma just knew. There was no escape. She will always be hers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Quiet Despair

**Author's Note:**

> Vodka and 5 tequila shots later I was mindlessly destroying the touchpad with this drabble. All my thanks to sinful-obsessions for the beta. I really don’t trust what my inebriated self will spew so I am quite thankful she was more than gracious to suffer through my request. :)

The prickly pain can be quite too much. Years of practice, however, taught you to breathe.

It is all you know now.

How else do you deal with one that kills you slowly from inside out? One you cannot touch, an ache that continues to linger and always beyond your reach. You grasp at your chest, rub methodically with the futile hope it subsides. And you breathe.

It gives you temporary relief. You take what you can get because you are never one for demands anymore. Somewhere along the way you lost that fight. 

A fight you lost that came with such a high price. 

The smile that graces the contours of your face could have said it all: forced, trite and if they know enough and gazed in your eyes, haunted.

But there was no one. Only one got that far and when she left, she took your heart with her. You could have fought but from day one, you knew it was a battle you long have lost.

She came to your life like she approached everything, self possessed, arresting wit and charms, elegant, in command. You never really did stand a chance.

You held your ground the way you always knew how. That part was at least inherent and dragged out at moment’s notice when necessary. With her, it seemed you even needed an emergency supply.

Your rel.. (You never really had a word for it now did you), relationship, was everything you never imagined it would be. She pulled and took and grabbed and for a time you kept pulling back, just as hard, never taking anything. 

For fear.. Fear that scared you witless —of hope.

It was resounding, the one conversation that never had left you. The one that drew pictures in your head. House, picket fences, her (your) son. the one with a future - one that was with them, with her.

Years later, while you both sit in quiet silence, (it’s quite lost in you now when that last happened.), you asked — ‘Did you mean it?’

She looks at you, eyes piercing, but always held a softness that is yours alone. _Was._

She was quiet and you feared that she might deny you this. But you also feared another… one you refused to give voice to. 

The quiet seems to drown you now. So you move to walk away but her voice stops you.

‘At the time… I believed, I sincerely believed it was what I wanted.’

You look away, a bitter smile gracing your face. You knew her answer can break you. It will always come down to that. 

She can break you. And the sad truth to it all, every time —

You will let her.


End file.
